A long time ago, there was this boy...

When I was a little kid I had so many crushes and "boyfriends" even though we did not really spend time together, therefore they do not really count. 


When I was in the 7th grade, I had my first real relationship. It lasted  for about a month, not because we stopped liking each other, but his father denied us to keep seeing each other. Two years went by and my heart still belonged to him, and with some help from my friend, we got back in touch.  We stayed together for seven months, but being the person who loves the other more, is not simple. I was so in love, but I did not feel the same affection back, so I crawled back into my shell... The day we broke up hurt so much, and I still remember it all. 

A year after I met another guy, who I did not know for long at all. He was really ongoing and eventually I gave in, stopped resisting, and let him kiss me. During the two weeks I knew him, feelings grew unnaturally fast and I really liked him a lot. Suddenly one day he told me he loved me, and I replied that it was not true. He fell silent and later on that night he sent me a message on facebook, telling me that we had to stop seeing each other. The day after he told me he loved his ex and that he had only been using me to make her jealous. It hurt so incredibly bad, and it still does. I just felt so used and hurt because I had given so much of myself and my feelings. 


Six months went by before I had the gut to try again. I gave a friend of me, who had had a crush on me for a while, a chance. At New Years Eve I kissed him and it felt good, but the next days were awkward as hell. He told me he was afraid to say or do anything stupid, which made it all very difficult. About a month later he told me he still had feelings for me, but it did not change anything because he was drunk and he still was not tough enough to sweep me off my feet. 

A couple months later I met someone again, but that too ended as fast as it started. He was too pushy and clingy, and not really my type. I do not really know why we were together, I never really liked him, but I just wanted to give it a chance. The thought of never giving anything a try went out of hand and I think I did a small mistake there. ;-)


This is the story of my tragic love life so far....

Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

Siesta time!

Just woke up from my siesta, which I wish was an inevitable part of the day.I like to think of myself as a night person, so a midday siesta is just exceptionally. After a power nap like today, I have a whole new battery of energy for the rest of the day!

"With great power...comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later." 

                                                             — Rick Riordan

Letting go

It has been a while. Things have happened, but I have not taken the time to write about it. I am back in my shell, and I have stopped missing my best friend. Which obviously means that something is not as it should. However, I have so many other friends to rely on. Even though I do not think this is the end of our friendship, I definitely do not think it will be the same again. I feel like I am moving forward, but I am not sure, I may just be fooling myself. 

I have friends to rely on whom I love

Well, finally it is summer vacation. I am not really noticing the hot weather yet, but the sloppy, empty days have already started. I will be working a lot though, but only for 2-3 weeks and I will be off to Florida!