July 21, 2013

Desperate

Nobody sees, nobody knows
We are a secret, can't be exposed
That's how it is, that's how it goes
Far from the others
...
                                                                                            Uncover by zara larsson


I made my first move and it was a mistake. I find myself so incredibly desperate to feel joy. Right now I only exist without really living. I smile when I am with friends, but I am not happy with my life. I feel like a failure because of school, my friends are slipping away and I screw it up with everyone else. 

I wish I remembered what it felt like to be in love. My feelings have literally just shut down, and it feels so wrong because I imagined that this period in life would contain more young love and happiness. How did I get it wrong? What am I supposed to do to change it? 
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