Tourists in town!

Summer is approaching, and the cruise ships are coming in. It is really exciting because I get to speak English, especially at work.





Today a friend of mine and I went to town to hang with the tourists, in hope to talk to someone. We actually joined this small group on a short tour, trying to blend in. Unfortunately the cruise ship left early. In replacement, we pretended to be tourists and started talking English to each other. It was fun!

 "Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs."

Indifference

I just want to leave this place, go somewhere new and get an opportunity to do something different. I have always wanted to take my second year in the states, but unfortunately that opportunity is gone now. Honestly I do not think there has been any time I have wished more to go than now. Things are starting to fall apart, and even though it is giving up, I just want to forget about it. I just want to give up when I see that I am the only one fighting, when I am the only one who spends time and powers trying to fix it. I question myself if it is worth it, is it worth fighting for someone if the other person do not give a damn?


While losing my friend, I lose myself because it makes me so sad. For a while now I have felt this sadness and it changes me. I may seem happy and I may be laughing, but still the ache is there underneath it all. It is strange to look back a year and see the difference. My smile used to be so sincere.


At school life is easier though, because it takes my mind off of things. The nights are tougher. At night I have time to think and it just hurt so bad to think about it. It takes real effort to hold back my tears, and sometimes they are just too wild to be tamed.


Where were you when I needed you?

17th of May !

Today is Norway's national day, and I have been out celebrating the whole day. Some people walk in the streets while singing or playing in school bands, others stand on the line watching and cheering. I walked in "barnetoget" with my school. Afterwards my brother, my niece and I watched "russetoget". Russ is the celebration of graduation, which lasts about a month and 17th of May is the very last day as russ.

Then I went to my grandmother and grandfather and ate a whole lot before I went to town again and watched "folketoget". After that we went out at a Chinese restaurant, I ate fried banana with ice cream, before we went to my friend's house and just chilled for a while before we went home. It was a quite long day. 


I love this day more and more for every year that passes by. I love this country, my town, more and more in a way I never thought I would feel for this place. I am becoming a real patriot although I still love to travel and want to move abroad soon, but I know I will always end up here. 

Hey I'm Pluto

I have been told that I am not the person people really notice. For an instance, at gatherings where I meet new people, I am never the one people remember afterwards. I am just there. Well there is no point in complaining, it will not change anything, this is just the way I am. Not really shy or anything, just quiet. Still, it kind of sucks. 

Don't sail away without me

My self-esteem is decreasing and I am afraid I am about to crawl back into my shell. I take distance from everyone and I barely talk to people at the time. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with sadness, but then it goes away for a while and then I do not think about anything of significance. I feel so boring and lifeless, I wonder where my mind and soul went...