I am only human

I keep my emotions to myself. If there is something I want someone to know, I try to tell them, but still, there are so many feelings I just do not bother to tell. I ask myself why, and maybe I think they are not worth telling, or that I should not complain. Or maybe I just want to seem stronger than what I am and maybe I just do not want their pity. Of course I am not the only one who want to seem stronger, and also I know I am not the only one to feel how I feel.

 In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

                                                                            -Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Everybody has their dark days when they only think about something sad or feeling sorry for them self. I have those days sometimes. I do not feel like doing anything except being alone, listening to music and thinking about it. I look for reasons to why it happened, how I reacted, how I should have reacted and what comes next. 
  

"Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs."

I tend to push people away sometimes. It usually happens if I open up to a person and show or tell how I feel or how much I care for that person. After declaring my feelings, one would wish to get the same reaction back. Well, if the other person does not show as much affection as I do, I instantly crawl back into my shell. It is like saying "okay, as you like" and have them to fight for you to get you back, as if anyone would do that. It is like sitting on a chair at prom, hoping someone will drag you out from your gloomy mood and ask you to dance. Those incidents rarely happen, and it is a waste of time to hope they will. However, what keeps us going is love, and sometimes we just need to hear from someone that they love us back. There is nothing wrong in that.

Referring to the quote, I warn everybody not to push people too far away. Maybe they need a second chance because you are not guaranteed to get them back. If you really love the person and care for him or her, it is not worth taking the risk. Once you push them away, you might not ever get them back.